I've come to learn, the hard way might I add, that people, no matter who, will at some point, whether intentionally or unintentionally, will let you down. I'm not referring to being let down in the sense of showing up late or forgetting to bring something you asked them to. I'm talking about a serious let down, a crucial let down that changes your life. It's the worse kind of let down, it is a let down that tips the scales of life, causes a disturbance in the precious balance, shatters hopes and beliefs, cause hatred and disgust; though it may seem an exaggeration, you will face it, you will know it and you will understand it. You cannot, simply cannot, rely on anyone. Granted, in the world we live in and the lives we lead, often times its not much of a choice but a necessity; a flaw in our societies in my opinion. The more self-reliant one becomes, the more you know what really is going on and when there is a let down, it is you doing it to yourself. That is something I can handle, me letting myself down. Trusting someone with something so simple but important that when they screw up, and they will, it totally destroys your perception of your life, is indescribable. That I cannot handle. I do not know whether to kill or cry.
3 comments:
You know ya fady, none of us can't say that they survived life without anyone helping them on the way.
Sometimes, you never expected that this someone will probably ever give you a hand...
We all have to be self-reliant, but yet we have to lend others a hand...not thinking that they will repay it back...(It is never between you and them anyways).
When you dig up someone from their misery, you usually find a place to burry ur own.
Try not to let down your friends, and family...and when you do that...you won't find easily that you are let down by others.
Always find excuses for others.
Don't set the guilotine for them...
Set them free, and you'll know that the person you set free is yourself.
This is a reality we have to like with, but there is a way out. When we get to know people, and help them out, we shouldnt be waiting for a return; we are offering others a hand becasue they need our help, and helping others is one of the values we make sure is present in our lives.
Although it might be humiliating when people let you down,but think about it, we shouldnt let others faults torture us, they ar'nt worth it.
When I first read this post weeks ago, my reaction to it was that it is an exaggerated reaction to one of the disappointments that we all face frequently despite having been warned by Fady that it is likely to be perceived as such. As I thought to myself of something that can after 22 years tip the scales of my life, I was very cynical. I am smart like that sometimes, you know, I thought I had it all worked out. I knew who to trust, I knew who I can depend upon and who I can easily be myself with. The thing about the let down though is that it comes from those you least expected it from at a time you are least prepared for. And though I cry as I write, I agree it does cause disturbance, disgust, shatters hopes and beliefs and totally shatters my perception of life and friendships. I went to sleep last night with the heaviest heart ever; I don’t remember feeling like that during my long troubled life on this planet. Not when people I dearly loved passed away, not when I thought I lost the love of my life, not when I was told I will have to deal with a sickness for the rest of my life, not ever really. And what’s most difficult to understand is that you can simply be hurt for doing nothing whatsoever. I am not victimizing myself here….but that’s how much this thing caught me off guard. You don’t control anything about your life. Ironically enough, I turned to other friends for comfort and I got it….while there remained a question to them inside my mind all along, are you too going to hurt me? As I asked my friend to hug me and tell me that I will be ok, I was thinking that he too might one day be the cause of similar anger, bitterness and PAIN. Despite that, I didn’t love him any less…and I thought to myself he is here now, to get me through this knowing fully well that he is not obliged at all. And that’s something I can appreciate and be thankful for. We might get repeatedly hurt and though for some that means not to trust anyone with our feelings and fears, for me it meant enjoying beautiful relationships while they lasted.
“I do not know whether to kill or cry”…..it sounded very true…but I am determined to move on…not changing the least bit about who I am. I guess it’s better to be the one crying than to be the one causing others to cry.
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