Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Expectations...
In our minds we all have expectations, there's no going around it. No matter whether it's the dish you ordered, the event you were going to, the person you're meeting for the first time, there's always an expectation in your mind. More often than not, your expectation is nothing "real", in the sense that if you try to visualize or describe your expectation, you are left without words. Hence an abstract expectation if you will. This abstract expectation is based solely on instinct and feelings and of course, preconceptions. For the sake of example, you answer the phone and its a deep bassy voice you've never heard...almost instantly you picture a rotund male, average, maybe slightly above average height. When you meet this person and realize he is a tiny skinny fellow, you're surprised. Even if this fellow turns out to be a medium height fat guy, chances are you will still be surprised when you see him. Which brings me to my point. No matter what the expectation, there will always be something that catches you off guard. And no matter how hard you try to put your finger on your expectation to materialize the abstract aspect of it, it will never happen. I call myself neither an optimist nor a pessimist, though others may tend to disagree either way, but the fact is, I find myself more disappointed and let down by my expectations than the reality of the situation had I evaluated it without the expectation.
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4 comments:
Nice way of putting it. Reflects an abstract reality we all live each day.
I agree that managing expectations is a challenge, not mastered by many.
However, to remove expectations, is to say let's live life black and white only. I am interested in having mine in color, thank you!
How can feel something different each day, without expectations? When someone calls me, and I think she might look so and so, and then i see something totally different ... it is definitely enjoyable. Expectations are just one of those little stuff that God provided for our use, so we can make educated guesses sometimes, as well as enjoy life.
My 2 cents
THE CLOSEST THING TO EXPECTATIONS ARE ASSUMPTIONS.
YOU ASSUME CERTAIN THINGS BASED ON THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE AT HAND, PAST EXPERIENCES AND THE INTRICACIES OF STIMULI IN YOUR BRAIN. I ALWAYS SAY THAT 'ASSUMPTIONS ARE THE MOTHER OF ALL #@!$UPS', CUZ WHEN YOU ASSUME YOU ARE NOT STATING FACTS, IT'S JUST A GUESS, NO MATTER HOW EDUCATED.
WHEN YOU EXPECT SOMETHING, ITS A MIXTURE OF WHAT YOU CAN GET, WHAT YOU HOPE TO GET AND FINALIZED WITH WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO GET. SO HOPE IS INCORPORATED IN THERE, WHICH IS A KILLER NEEDLESS TO SAY.
ANYWAYS, I REALLY DON'T HAVE A POINT HERE, I'M JUST SAYING THAT WHEN THINGS ARE UNCERTAIN THE MIND AND EMOTIONS HAVE TO SEARCH OUT AND FILL OUT BLANKS. EVERYBODY HATES TO BE WRONG, WHICH IS WHY WE GET SURPRISED WHEN WHAT WE EXPECT, OR ASSUME, IS WRONG. AS YEARS GO BY WE REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES WE'VE BEEN WRONG, WE WILL LOWER OUR EXPECTATIONS AND MAKE THE RIGHT ASSUMPTIONS.
KEEP IT REAL NOW.
very true.. and the thing is, even when you try to have low or no expecations, there's still that small part of you thats hoping for and expecting the best. its ALWAYS there..
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